A stirring book that offers an ideal blend of direction and comfort to fellow caregivers.
In this motivational memoir, Miller (No Man’s Land, 2003, etc.) uses poetry and advice to paint a poignant picture of her time as a caregiver to her spouse.
The author’s husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 55, and over time, her role in his life transformed from companion to caregiver to custodian. In this book, she divides this experience into three stages. The “Beginning Stage,” when Alzheimer’s is newly diagnosed, evokes a “flood of emotions,” she says, including “guilt over being short-tempered…sadness and anger about the diagnosis…jealousy toward those more fortunate, fear of the unknown, and doubt about one’s abilities.” This is the time for caregivers to “put things in order,” she asserts, and adjust to a new normal. The “Middle Stage,” she writes, is more of a “holding pattern,” as the patient’s functional abilities significantly decline and the caregiver’s burdens increase. Miller repeatedly emphasizes the need for caregivers to “take care of [their] health and sanity”—in part, by arranging for outside help. The “Final Stage” is often the longest and saddest, she notes, as caregivers prepare for the patient’s final decline: “Trying to carve out a separate life—along with the dichotomy of staying connected while letting go—is the major task for caregivers.” Miller’s artistic prose style is highly effective, and fellow caregivers will appreciate the articulate, genuine sentiments from someone who clearly understands their plight. After offering practical advice in brief chapter introductions, the author presents numerous creatively formatted, emotionally charged prose poems: “I am exhausted, alone, weary, / carrying both of us. Symbiotic victims—one excused, one invisible.” By being open about negative emotions, Miller avoids a major pitfall of many caregiving books in which the authors “must be saints or darn close,” as she puts it. But the book isn’t bleak, as the author also shares personal triumphs, such as finding peace in a support group.
A stirring book that offers an ideal blend of direction and comfort to fellow caregivers.Pub Date: May 4, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-9679584-0-8
Page Count: 294
Publisher: Kaleidoscope Kare
Review Posted Online: April 5, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2019
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
This is not the Nutcracker sweet, as passed on by Tchaikovsky and Marius Petipa. No, this is the original Hoffmann tale of 1816, in which the froth of Christmas revelry occasionally parts to let the dark underside of childhood fantasies and fears peek through. The boundaries between dream and reality fade, just as Godfather Drosselmeier, the Nutcracker's creator, is seen as alternately sinister and jolly. And Italian artist Roberto Innocenti gives an errily realistic air to Marie's dreams, in richly detailed illustrations touched by a mysterious light. A beautiful version of this classic tale, which will captivate adults and children alike. (Nutcracker; $35.00; Oct. 28, 1996; 136 pp.; 0-15-100227-4)
Pub Date: Oct. 28, 1996
ISBN: 0-15-100227-4
Page Count: 136
Publisher: Harcourt
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 1996
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An extravaganza in Bemelmans' inimitable vein, but written almost dead pan, with sly, amusing, sometimes biting undertones, breaking through. For Bemelmans was "the man who came to cocktails". And his hostess was Lady Mendl (Elsie de Wolfe), arbiter of American decorating taste over a generation. Lady Mendl was an incredible person,- self-made in proper American tradition on the one hand, for she had been haunted by the poverty of her childhood, and the years of struggle up from its ugliness,- until she became synonymous with the exotic, exquisite, worshipper at beauty's whrine. Bemelmans draws a portrait in extremes, through apt descriptions, through hilarious anecdote, through surprisingly sympathetic and understanding bits of appreciation. The scene shifts from Hollywood to the home she loved the best in Versailles. One meets in passing a vast roster of famous figures of the international and artistic set. And always one feels Bemelmans, slightly offstage, observing, recording, commenting, illustrated.
Pub Date: Feb. 23, 1955
ISBN: 0670717797
Page Count: -
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Oct. 25, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 1955
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